The World Thinks I’m WOKE!!!
(A Non-negotiable struggle)
I think I’m mad. My family thinks I’m a Creative. Some friends think I’m wild. Why does the rest of the world think I’m WOKE?
The STRUGGLE
I do not disregard the thoughts that come into my head. When they come knocking, I try to politely tell them that for now, I’m busy and need some space. These thoughts do not let me rest till they find their way out of my head.
It isn’t about me but the characters within!
On some days, I summon them. On other days, they struggle out as though they have just been set free from a long-forgotten cage.
I do not write them, they write me! Can’t you see how they push out words that hit deep? Can’t you see how much the thoughts I put out resonate with you?
Again, I say. It isn’t me writing. These characters are writing me.
Who likes to stay awake at night, meditating and scribbling down words? Who likes to walk on the road, soliloquizing with everyone looking and wondering if you are mad? Who likes to suddenly get up, grab a paper and a pen to write down words because the characters are ready for a long meeting?
Oh, maybe some people do but I deserve some rest!
You need to see how the characters in my head make a caricature of my being. One minute, my eyes are struggling to get some sleep and the other minute, the third and most troublesome Character gives me the assignment of writing as she speaks!
To the outside world, I’m a Writer!
To the world within, I’m a common Listener!
Every book or paper in my house is now filled with words and pieces that the characters have put forward. Even as I write this, it is still not me telling this story. I’m sure the first Character in my head is pushing me to do this.
I was about 9 years old when I started familiarizing myself with the Characters within me. Long before now, I would suddenly hear different people talking in my head. One either wanted to speak before the other or speak while the other was speaking. All I remember is that they eventually told their individual stories.
My life has become a THEATRE. These characters are making a joke out of me!
At 15, I started to tell stories. Most of these stories weren’t mine! When readers begin to give me too much credit, something definitely doesn’t feel right; for this has never been my story. Although through me, these characters tell so many tales…
At about 20, there was a remarkable Shift. I stopped telling stories that sounded like ‘there lived a man’. At this point, I started talking to myself and the rest of the world.
During this season, I told stories of life. I started to dream of not just a regular life but a phenomenal one. These characters put me on the spot! People began to call my words sensible, direct, and appealing to every emotion they felt and still feel. For a long time, it became my story.
The birth of pure POETRY
When the world calls me a Poet, I say it is not my true identity but the identity of the third and most active character in my head.
This Character is a fearless CREATIVE. As she feels, she lets it out. I sometimes think she feels more than I do.
When the world is sad, she feels and interprets it through poetry. When the world needs to speak up, she takes it upon herself to talk to us. And when the world needs some laughs, she finds a way to make us laugh. This character is WOKE, I’m not!
When her poems are read, people ask how I got inspired. Don’t ask me questions I cannot answer, can’t you see that these are not my stories, can’t you see that I have become a plaything for the characters within? They ask me to do these, I do not complain. I maintain my cool because I do not want a war with them.
For days, I have not been at peace. These characters have said it is time to come out. Why are they struggling to come out all at once? Through my eyes, nose, ear, and mouth I see parts of them trying to find freedom.
They have become demons and cannot stay in a place. I’m trying to keep them in one piece, how can I make this happen?
Maybe when my eyes can no longer see the world, they will know that I too can be a mental case.
Don’t toss me around, I’m the god of my own life I said in a loud tone. They laughed and just couldn’t stop. The third Character whispered peacefully in my left ear. We are YOU and you are US, can’t you see it?
I am loosing it!
I want an out!
There seems not to be a way!
I have decided to embrace these characters for they have become my groom. I will live with them till DEATH DO US PART.
